I know that's a lot of information to dump on you in a comments section, but I really hope it's helpful. Like I said, I think this is a gorgeous concept already, and I quite like it. I just think that with a little more fine-tuning it could be really exceptional. If you have any questions, would like me to elaborate more, or anything else, just let me know and I'Il be happy to respond. 😁

There's no right or wrong solution, but it just feels right now that the poem is sort of "in the middle" and hasn't quite figured out its own language yet.

The other option is to lean into giving each stanza, emotion, and color its own distinctive tone. So to cite the earlier example again, you could remove "phobia" and "arachnids" in favor of more whimsical, childlike language, and really give each section an individual identity.

Removing some of the nursery rhyme sounding words in favor of others, for example, like "teeny-weeny," as that's directly competing with words like "phobia" and "arachnids" in the same stanza.

More on word choice and effect: I think this poem has two directions it could really go, and I think either one would fit your vision and strengthen it if you leaned into it. Right now, it feels a bit wishy-washy in tone. Option one would be to smooth out the flow between stanzas with extra connective tissue and bringing a more unified register to the whole piece.

Similarly, you could use different words to highlight how some of that repeated "blushing" imagery is conveyed, helping the distinction if you choose to keep all three. Just something to be mindful of.

From a rhythmic standpoint, you really want to keep word repetition functional. Sometimes, it's unavoidable, to be sure, but in your case, I think we could look at some more evocative or specific words for the sensations you're describing. For example, in the first stanza, you repeat "eye / eyes" back to back. Perhaps something like "gaze" would ease that pressure ("felt their gaze upon her").

For example, stanzas 1, 3, and 5 are all shades of red, and you're using similar language (flushed, blushed, rushed to her cheeks) to describe them. I think the poem wants some more thematic differentiation there. WHY are these colors distinct? WHAT makes them different? And, additionally, you could space out the "reds" if you wanted to keep them all. Otherwise, trimming at least one out or substituting another color and emotion could be beneficial.

First, let's look at the big picture. What I see has the potential to be very evocative. Colors resonating with different aspects of human emotion. Right now, they mostly work, but from an architectural standpoint, some things may be creating some conflict unintentionally.