Do u want to know the hardest part of getting clean It's the shame and guilt and apologies I miss the numbness, but I miss me too, So I stay right here and see this thing through The first time since 13, im taking a step back Being high is hard, but being sober, i crack 3 weeks, in my room,I hide from the facts Im weak and desperate ,im falling off track I need one more hit, I want no more need I lose friends and family over my greed It consumes me, but why do I finally feel whole Using and abusing and losing my soul But im sober now 1 month to be exact Sounds like nothing, but to me, it impacts I've lost all my friends, as i now have no use No longer a person to take and feed their abuse Im in no way better, tho .Im an addict as well The more that I took the further, the more I fell But I want to be different ,I want to be strong Im only 19, but I know right from wrong So in my room I stay ,please dont let me out I'll take and abuse, and the truth will come out I need more time, more isolation, more reflection Im not coming out until I've met a resurrection Till im free from my habit and can finally meet me I haven't been me since I was 13 and clean