(gone a bit crazy for my first poem but I gone out of letters QwQ part 2 is on my account<3) I'm the oldest child. Denied any sort of help or support. I don't do sport or any hobby when someone asked me what I did when I was a kid. When Mom is yelling hurting and insulting dad again he drinks the sorrow away. Can't say if I'm a dad or a mom kid cause neither of them raised me as a parent. I have a talent they say. Teacher and friends of parents telling me I'm mature for my age not knowing pure rage flooding through my veins when full packet trains off composure leave my body once again at night. Saying I'm not fine when someone would ask but I push pass and maintain composure for my little brother. Without pregnancy I'm mother, without permission, a father as well. I pushed childhood aside for him. With pride they say I'm such a calm kid. No screaming, no needing, knowing there's no one holding me at a nightmare anyway. I give my brother everything I didn't have, had or will have, I promised. The smallest, needs it to be hold after a nightmare and someone to cry on a shoulder. Rather become colder then he like me. Me going to the parent teacher conference cause Dad is too drunk, Mom said it's irrelevant but I know about the fight, at night ask him what really happened, and the dropping grade, afraid if Mom finds out she'll do the same to him. I only trust in myself cause I don't know if I go to bed tonight, tuck him tight, lock the door from inside so he didn't have to be afraid of the yelling, screaming, showing him he's safe but my place is behind the door waiting for the sound of a body falling to the ground. My place, my space to intervene cause I don't bear the thought of his face when Dad is in the hospital again.