to my younger self, i am sorry we ended up this way. i'm sorry you are covered with wounds and bruises instead of shiny jewelry. i'm sorry i messed up countless times, and that, most days, all i wanted was to disappear. i'm sorry i didn't fulfill your wishes and dreams of how you wanted to graduate at 22 and have our first and last boyfriend at 26. i am so sorry i cannot be of help even at 20. i'm sorry that all i can ever be now is to survive. i'm sorry no one would take accountability for the pain they caused that still remains. i'm sorry that you have to heal from all these wounds each day. i'm sorry that you have to heal the wounds that never went away. i'm sorry i let them hurt you, and now you're so lost and don't have a clue where to go.