Your process is the antithesis of mine. Lol. I throw it out into the wild and just hope it lives its best life. 😂 For what it's worth, though, I don't know that, as a reader, it feels particularly rushed. If that's what you're feeling, I would assume it's between "I met a poem, I ran." and "Feet thrashing". Maybe just a couple of lines there to make the contextualization heavier would help? You could also toy with a few of the line breaks. But, as I said, it feels pretty good to me already.