a_p_wyndham's commented: Big oof. Yeah, I definitely understand the poem=wound metaphor. Poetry can be like the scar tissue that develops from repeated injury, tough and resilient, but still a marker of the pain. Sometimes beautiful, and sometimes torn open anew just so it can heal again, maybe differently. Of course, it can also be joyous and reverent. (I struggle with that modality, myself). Might I ask, what aren't you quite happy with in terms of the poem?

Big oof. 

Yeah, I definitely understand the poem=wound metaphor. Poetry can be like the scar tissue that develops from repeated injury, tough and resilient, but still a marker of the pain. Sometimes beautiful, and sometimes torn open anew just so it can heal again, maybe differently. Of course, it can also be joyous and reverent. (I struggle with that modality, myself).

Might I ask, what aren't you quite happy with in terms of the poem? 

0/500

lifeinslomo

Thank you! I felt the ending was a bit rushed.
I'll probably end up redoing it again. I needed to look at this with clear eyes, that's why I posted it to find the problem. That's a weird habit of mine. Anyway, I tend to nitpick on my poems a lot. It's frustrating, this habit of mine. But I also feel that  revisions can help strengthen the poem in some cases 