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Profile picture of user: a_p_wyndham

a_p_wyndham

3w

Of course! 😁 So, in my reading experience, the line "you peeled my layers of warmth" really stood out to me. I want to be clear: I don't believe it's bad or necessarily wrong, but I stumbled over it just a little bit the first time, and on my subsequent re-reads. What I think is going on is that the rest of piece is so image-rich or otherwise uniquely phrased that this single line feels a little abstract and out of place, like I'm searching for the image I expect. If that makes any sense.

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Profile picture of user: rira

rira

3w

I see your point and it's valid ... Tbh i didnt sit with this piece i felt like i had to get rid of it . Now that you have brought it to my attention i will see what i can do