This is the reason why my behavior has completely changed, while sitting with my feet up and my arms resting on my knees and my head resting on my arms, and thinking "will i still live"?, "will I still fulfill my dreams"? and my tears have completely flowed because of the burdens i carry, and many people ask me "is it good that you can still smile"? that even though everything is painful, that sometimes i suddenly cry, become numb, and sometimes I even want to be alone in the dark crying because it seems like there are many voices whispering to me over and over again, that sometimes I have tried to end my life if this is the case.