I can't go anywhere without being in pain, I can't go anywhere without getting sick, I can't go anywhere without ending up in a flare up, this is why I cancel plans with you, not because I don't love you, but quite the opposite I love you and I don't want to let you down, I don't want to hurt you ,I don't want to make any promises that I can not keep, I don't want to hurt myself, I don't want to be sick anymore, I don't want to do this anymore, but I can't give up because I will be made to be weak, and although I don't want to go through this anymore I have to go through the pain, I don't want to be sick, I don't want to need treatments to live I want to be comfortable, happy and pain free, but I do this for you guys, seeing you guys smile, hearing you guys laugh, seeing you grow into these beautiful people, is much more important to me than, going through the pain, the agony, the tournament, and torture, I do it for you.