I’ll say it in double negatives so that there is very little doubt I don’t not want the kind of love I’ve only read about Because I finally understand that it’s easier to commit to the idea of me Than for them to fall in love with my reality So I’ll smile and laugh at their jokes and pretend to care. I’ll pretend like the hollowness in my chest simply isn’t there. I’ll shut up my heart that begs and pleads for more I’ll be the perfect idea that they all fell for My body, my affection, whatever they want is fine But my own heart – my heart will only ever be mine. I’ll say it in double negatives so that there is very little doubt I don’t not want the love I’ve always dreamed about