I lied !! when I said I didn't love you Yes I m also amazed it a lie I didn't know how it happened I couldn't find the reasons why I love you I hate being inlove, I m paranoid I love it when you love me but hate it when I love you I feel vulnerable, I feel like an open chest to a bullet I hate expressing myself..it hard , it difficult There was a time I hate you saying the "L" word I bet it discouraged you , you didn't say it again What if I told you I will do anything hear it now I don't want to be inlove with you , no I don't It hurts more knowing I am , I hate loving you Now I care, I care about you saying the "L" word I care about saying it and not receiving a reply I m afraid of loving you for you might stop loving me I would rather hurt you than allow you to hurt me My heart ache..I wanna go with the flow of love But I don't wanna get hurt , maybe I am toxic But I am regardless.. since I fell in love with you I became scared, scared of you , scared of love So , before you hurt me, I will hurt you , mercilessly! So you keep loving me and I will find a way To stop loving you, you will carry the pain of love I will enjoy the pleasure of hurting and loving you