It took a lot of courage to actually write about you. because I tried to take my mind off you hoping if I close my eyes, then the thought of you would go away then I question myself, why do I think of you every day but I need to choose me but I'm praying that you change for me I questioned myself, was I enough, am I enough? why wasn't my constant encouragement & love not enough? the way you treated me made me feel like a little kid but I'm so glad I made it out while I'm craving for you to change for me I hate you, I love you, but my heart aches for you while your actions did hurt me I still let you be because I convinced myself that you'll never do that but I let my mind get the best of me I write this with the desire of yearning for you I'm praying that you're okay, but I can never come to the conclusion to come in contact with you... Some days I don't miss you--but I miss the person I believed you could become it's like a tug of war between distance and reaching out I'm sorry that I couldn't help you change, but just know that I love you maybe one day you'll be able to read this...and.... Realize it's always about you.