I use to have vacancy for you. Now I'm just missing your energy. The sad ghost stuck in my brain just to be a memory. I ache at the thought of you. I ache at what was true. Losing myself to the angel that is now silent. And I don't know how to live with that. My heartbeats but I still know not sleep. I eat till I wonder Am I full? But no nothing beats the consumption of you. Fear if I didn't have it you'd be here. I'd be there. Feelings are so complicated. When the person who knows your secret also knows how to break you. So am I just mad now? Damnit I sucked at chemistry but ours was the best. Just know I loved and losted. Softness warmth I claw to get back. But you're still in the empty spaces in my mind. Headspace I'd die for. Not just erase the ideal of me and you. Yet I laid there as you still linger. The heartache that felt like a bed sore. When I just wanted to be Free of pain and agony. But never you. Now I keep losing. Broken. Confused. Mad. And I'm just never gonna shake the hand of my so called families chosen devil. To comprehend I just played the hand at that level and lost.