Nights like these. No one understands the concept of me. But I'm trying yet believing in something worthy. Flawed but want better. When the after jitteries are gone. A friend calls. And my heartstrings jerk to giddiness. Smiles and giggles. A 30 minutes to a hour and I don't want to be off the phone. To her pause when I said I love you her choke that plays like lovesick chords to I ain't going to lie I missed you. After night jitteries and a plate becomes things of terror. Binge one night think about you another. She's the gravity I can't breathe without. Yeah she's my lungs. That oxygen like Honey and I'm just a Bee with a stinger. No harm to a raven that a kiss falls. Drake's if you let me love you vibes when it's just me and you. I think about her closed eyed. Food is the nightmare craves make me weak. But me telling myself no helps. Avoid arguing helps. Family members not fighting with me helps. Thinking alone helps. Talking to her or My friends helps. Yet after night jitteries and binging the aftermath always there's the thought of you pulling me out of the tunnel. This fever slow but I just want to run to you. My flash of reality is I'm a good person a better person and only me and you can be the only ones to understand it.