I'm indigo. Should've learned. Not harder or easier. A mistake is a mistake. Not cleaner not dirtier. Just often flawed. Wrong to default. Lies overload. Truth still reaching. Door's breaking. Unhinged but in purpose. Sorry never meant so much. Genuine feelings hidden. Hate misplaced. Blind leading the blind. I dared to feel. Not accidentally. Just humanly. Love Alil. Just to be close. Reaching but anger became a weapon. Emotions I wasn't used to. Unbridled how I didn't know the truth. Free to believe. Now harshly taken. Lost but not far away. Sinners prayer but not too beyond saving. Loving someone in my being. Still do. But my family doesn't understand like she does. Gentle. Slow. Patient. But more with her but he knows I'm good at heart. Attempt to help Alil bit. But no one but her see. I love them I love her too. Why should I choose? Choosing to love should be enough. Religious but not pruny. Open but not blind. Dreams are sometimes the key. Universal vision I'm just 50/50. Flawed but shooting to feel. Lovable but hard but not impossible to reach. Listening but not with my ears. With my heart not my intellect or my dismemberment. Forgiveness I crave but slow to eat. This hunger to be enough but comtemplate Alil bit. Not lesser not more just worthy. But belonging in a world that like David I felt they didn't deserve. Flaws more than a million. Endless ain't too late. Possible. Another chance endless but not too late. Hope boundless. Letting go harder. Love hits different with me. Pain obsolete I wish. Letting go of the rope. Emotionless but I know I feel. Just die. But I live by never giving up. I surrender her. I surrender him. But why them? Love hits different. I tell myself. So I hit harder. Move different. Be different. Love.