In a large room filled with people. We talk. Family, friends, strangers. Sharing laughter, joy, and interest. As the night deepen, wine goes through each and everyone's throat blurring the lines between intoxicating feeling and soberness. As my mind dazed. Drive for conversation subsides. Wondering, what is this lacking feeling even though I'm surrounded by lovely people. Wine is meant to give pleasure, a way to forget all worries. but why is it giving me the consciousness of grief that I've been dismissing unconsciously. A grief that wants to be found. A grief that wants to be embrace. A grief that wants to tell you what you've lost.