I lay here. Tortured by silence. The quiet that made caffeine like kryptonite to me. Feelings that eat me alive every night. Just to no escape. Cuz to me you're home. The oxygen that I wish to comprehend to breathe. Cuz the agony of no one understands me kills me the same. Pain and pleasure sweetness I'd die again and again just to know the butterflies I used to feel were real cuz no one else is as real as you. Yet I love just to hurt good again. And caffeine is the only heaven besides closed eyes is the only way I see again. My emotions in a different lens. Shackled Again and again. To know only to never turn off. Just to belong to you. The quiet that kills me. But nothing keeps you away. Just to know I love this way. But no other angel can see. Why I want this black rose that only for me you bloom. It's the definition of this existial that I wish not to let go. So I won't. Ever. No matter the thorns these butterflies love so. Yes I will never let go of the softness like heaven that I wished time would claim her ferociously as mines. But in loneliness in quiet. Just this bittersweet ghost of fragility is already mines. This vibe that wont say die.