What does it mean to lose everything. My melancholy of the bittersweet canvas That was meant to be. To the ache of this heart particular was everything. My gravity by design. The kiss of softness. That cruelty became a host. And kryptonite of mines. To know Harley Quinn to me was a angel. A seasonal untamed angel. But Adam himself couldn't haunted such a Eve. Beautiful and haunting that was her to me. The first softness that made love become like almost home to me. Yet young I was but still I understood this feeling entirely. Something as gut wrenching soul aching as two hugs and sweetness I couldn't forget. Pigtails that became bliss when they always saw me. How could me chaos itself fall to someone this beautiful? Temptation beyond. She was the euphoric in-between. Emotions that wouldn't stop at nothing. This fever that burned yet dimmer by not my own hand. Something that fragileness knew it couldn't stand. The phrase I love you fading. She hugged me twice before this. And that passion came close over and over again. Friends and family. They just distractions that made me a monster never noticing me but she did. A hug. A kiss to the neck. To know the things I adore endlessly again and again. Yet snatched and couldn't have. Rage undying long became a weapon. But love softened my grip. My pen became my blood. Again and again. To know love gave a best friend who loves me and thinks I never notice. Aching to be. But I noticed. This angel of mine was named Terri. Heaven became amber my best friend. Yet emotions spoke loudly. Norms was our demise Again and again. But I love you was the phrase that destroyed the flutter of Terri the day of July. And my home my sense of heaven my idea of home died like my grandma for the twice time again.