Dealing with my demons everyday Wondering if its worth for me to fight or stay Trying to heal and find hope while traumatic memories been on replay Feeling like im on a slippery slope Struggling trying to find ways to cope Should I go back to the old me? But i want stability, peace, and security It has never been a reality for me I want to be open but for so long I been on guard trying to chip away the broken pieces it's really hard I want to be close to Jesus but I feel so far Smiling, laughing, and carrying on While im secretly falling apart Bound in my sin, don't know which way to go Fighting between staying the same and wanting to grow Trying to hide the ugliness inside I would surrender but I have too much pride