My heart is broken So much unspoken When she walked out the door Now I must go to the store See what's at the target Yes the digital meat market Downloading the apps As I shotgun schnapps Typing up a profile Double vision style And its back to online dating Praying this heart can mend To the swamp I decend Been weeks since I showered I think my balls have soured But the time has come Let's slum Tinder and bumble And in bars i stumble Swiping right Even if thier a fright Do they have a clitoris Or will it be a hidden penis You never know When your a swipe right pro Who's gunna match When your searching for snatch But just my luck It's all lips like a duck Or taco bell skinny I dont discriminate misogyny In this game of Russian roulette Of who I will regret It's not just window shopping But a heartbreak romping Metal illness or daddy issues Cause tonight I move on from tissues I will forever swipe right At least for the night She will call me daddy And be my penis caddy Could be a hole in one For no pocket I shun Bingo we have a winner Of a McDonald's dinner And be the one to free My little Gretzky Out of the penalty box Releasing the cyclops She rubs Aladdin's lamp For a genie mushroom stamp The magic rebound rug ride A proof of no pride A macabre of debauchery Down at the fishery The walk of shame Happened as I came Don't know what to say After I filled her like a souffle Leaving plan B on the night stand It's even name brand Now I think I have VD Probably need to call the CDC But it's back to the apps I go Searching for a new low To fill this hole in my heart With a menu of heartbreak al a carte