why does that feel like a battle that keeps me alive through hope and dreams I believe I will fulfill after just some time so I'm gonna keep doing it hatred growing up inside me telling me to try harder sacrifice more through the pain in my chest my heart slightly vibrating fighting to beat just a few minutes more my bones as if weaker skin maybe tighter easy to break exposed to every nerve touch annoying are they suggesting it's too much still vision a little bit blurred eyes not willing to open again throat forgetting how to say a word sleeping became risky 'cause am I gonna wake up when I do I do it again I'm my own traitor though after all I promised myself to never give up I'm not a loser right so I'll do so maybe knowing this path already but who cares when everyone makes you feel like after dying every second about to faint you finally deserve to live like suddenly noticing you getting compliments about how wonderful your flat stomach looks when you don't eat how beautiful you are when your own mind betrays you so you decide to betray your own body 'cause that's the goal, isn't it crazy how after falling down weaker than ever panting to take a breath becoming harder people tell me oh how good you look should keep up so I do so believe me I will and I won't quit just for you and my little sick self