I need to be honest about the scariest feeling I have right now: I miss myself. It’s strange. It’s like looking through old photos and recognizing the person smiling back, but realizing she’s been gone for a while. The person I am right now is doing the work....I’m writing, I’m praying, I’m trying to be better. But if you asked me, point-blank: "Who are you right now?" I wouldn't have an answer. The realization hit me two weeks ago. I was standing in front of my closet, and I picked up a red sweater(an old one), one I haven't worn in years. I remember loving that sweater because it felt happy and defiant most especially because it's my favorite color ❤️. I held it up, and I genuinely thought, “I don’t know if this color is me anymore.” And that’s when it slammed into me: I don't know what is me anymore. I think I lost myself piece by piece. I gave pieces away when I felt I had to be strong for everyone else. I dropped pieces when I was running on the hustle treadmill. And I buried the deepest parts when I was building that massive wall to protect against the insults of the past. Now that the noise has quieted, and I finally have the space to look around, I realize I’m standing in a strange, empty room. * Who am I without the fear of judgment? * What do I love when I don't have to perform for anyone? * Where am I going when the old map is gone? I just feel lost. Truly, totally lost. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see someone who is trying really hard,.. To continue reading Click here, https://open.substack.com/pub/sweetaurora7008/p/my-rage-my-disgust?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=61lj4d