did you ever, even just once, miss me? did my name slip past your lips, a ghost in your stories, a whisper between drinks with friends? or am I erased, scrubbed clean from the world you walk in? was I just a secret you swore to silence, something you'd rather forget, so you'd never have to regret, never have to miss me at all? when we met that last time, was it already a goodbye in your mind? you leave me drowning in questions, crushed beneath the weight of what-ifs, suffocating in the wreckage of grief, of rage, of helplessness, and at night I lie awake, haunted by the echoes of your words, the sound of your laugh, and by memories of how you give and enjoy closeness and intimacy and the way you talk about the people you love. even if the questions burn and the memories sting — what you gave I'll carry within.